Autism Siblings: You can Stand Under My Umbrella

I find myself complaining and exasperated a lot about the fact that my children fight a lot. I know that it is normal "typical" brother and sister behavior most of the time, really it is. But, often times it is magnified by the fact that Alex has autism and his little sister does not. She, at age 4, doesn't get it why her brother does certain things and goes into full diva blowout mode. He, at age 8, more often than not doesn't react age appropriately and will bust into tears over some very small things (which because of his Autism he is very rigid about). It truly is exhausting and there are weeks (like this last one) that I wondered if truly I would make it through.

And then, there are tender moments that make it better.

My husband captured this one on the way into the bowling alley today in the pouring rain. Alex doesn't like to get rained on and he tried to go under his sister's princess umbrella. Apparently there was a small fight and obviously some logistical issues due to height differences -- but they worked it out. And when they came out of the bowling alley, the kids shared the umbrella without issue.

The kids managed to stay mostly dry while I got soaked, but isn't that how it goes?



"Now that it's raining more than ever. Know that we'll still have each other.

You can stand under my umbrella"

Challenger Bowling wrap-up

Today was the final day of summer Challenger league bowling for Alex. I am biased, of course but I do believe we had the best team this session. Our lane consisted of Alex, his friends Logan and Brandon, and Logan's little brother. We are all friends - the kids and the parents alike. It makes a world of difference to be on a lane with parents that you are also friends because we tag-team each other's kids, share snacks, and laugh a lot.

Our team is always the slowest group of bowlers and when they put new kids on our lane it doesn't always work out so well. The parents get frustrated because the team might only get in one game of bowling during that 90 minutes when other teams get in two games. The boys tend to like to venture away from the lane in between their turn to go sit at one of the video game machines - this is a new 'habit' for Alex since our lane was closer this session to where the games were. Also, the kids all have to have their fries and 10 condiment cups of ketchup plus drinks and will come back up for a snack while their ball is being returned. I guess they need a little re-charging, hey whatever works.

Today we had a few incidents at bowling with Alex's behavior, yet he bowled a very good game and got 2 spares on his own.

The first incident was that he kept stealing all the green balls from the neighboring lane and sorting the balls on our lane so that greens were on the left and the red (plus one pink for his sister) were on the right. He was standing and even laying over the top of the balls so no one could get them back. Thankfully, the kid and mom on the next lane are also good friends and her son is slightly older and took it in stride.

The second behavior was not surprisingly having to do with the noise. The bowling alley was particularly loud today with the music louder than normal and a lot more loud speaker announcements than normal. Alex sometimes (but not as much as he used to) gets upset with the clapping at the lanes but he especially hates the PA system. When the announcements would come on he would sit down and start screaming about a VOICEOVER ALERT and basically lose it until it stopped. We need to work on that one.

As my husband put it so aptly today:

"Alex is shouting at everyone in full evil overlord mode. So busy shouting at the peasants he didn't notice he got two spares."

Still, behaviors aside - a good bowling day for the kids and another good season of Challenger Bowling complete. Bowling starts up again in the winter and hopefully we can work on improving some of our problem behaviors. All tips on how to do that are welcome!

Educational Games for the Wii? Jump Start Pet Rescue is a must

I've shared before that our household is a big fan of the Wii and the biggest player in the house is my son, who has autism. Both of my kids love the Wii and even my 4 year old can play many of the games. But, up until now there have been few games that were geared specifically for the youngest of kids that are educationally based. Well, we've found a winner here - Jumpstart Pet Rescue Wii and it is available now!

My kids love to play on Jump Start World online in the virtual world with their personalized Jumpees (avatars). The Wii game plays similar and begins by each player setting up their Jumpee and player account. I didn't have to encourage the kids to make their own and get started right away. My daughter made herself a girl with pink everything, no surprise - we call her Pinkalicious (like the children's book).

The game plays in 2 modes - Story Mode or Explore mode. In Story mode your child will need to complete various "missions" to complete story books and unlock the next "world". You begin in the Neighborhood and then progress to Pet Land, Town Square, the Beach, and then the Jungle. In Explore mode you can access any of the worlds to play learning games.

The kids have been playing this game for the past few weeks thanks to a pre-release copy from Knowledge Adventure and are truly enjoying it. My daughter has adopted a little kitty (complete with a bow on its head) and named it Fluffy - so far her favorite world is the "Pet Land" where she is able to bathe and dress her pet, feed it, and teach it to do tricks. My son prefers the Learning House which has very basic learning games (well below his grade level) including one that he has to collect bugs by number, shape or color. I like that it doesn't require reading and also that it gives verbal instructions so it works on the kids following directions on what to do. I find that the game has a real nice balance of learning with fun - kids won't find this boring at all and will want to play it again and again.

I highly recommend Jump Start Pet Rescue for the littlest and youngest of Wii players (Pre-K & K level) and for children with autism and other special needs. Pet Rescue is a fun game for kids to learn and play using the Wii.

You can read my detailed game review of Jump Start Pet Rescue Wii at Epinions.com

Pictures of my daughter's Jumpee and her kitten:










Learn more about Jump Start Pet Rescue
Buy Jump Start Pet Rescue on Amazon

Win your own copy of Jump Start Pet Rescue for the Wii here (Enter by the end August 30th, 2009, they are randomly giving away 25 copies)

Jump Start Pet Rescue is rated by the ESRB as Early Childhood and the MSRP is $39.99.


Related posts:
Kids and Parents love Jump Start World
I'm a believer in Wii Therapy!!!!
Consider the Nintendo Wii for Kids with Autism
Wii Love to Play and Learn with Jump Start Pet Rescue

The Cost of Autism and Healthcare in New Jersey

August 18, 2009

The cost of autism and healthcare in New Jersey

As the mother of two children in New Jersey - one with Autism - I have a lot of thoughts on the topic of Healthcare and proposed healthcare reform in both of state and our nation. On August 13, 2009 - Governor Corzine signed the NJ Autism Insurance reform bill. My husband and I were in attendance along with many other families, Autism activists and community leaders. We watched this history be made as the Governor signed S1650/A2238 which attempts to remedy the insurance discrimination that my family and the many other families affected by Autism Spectrum disorder has faced.

Now that NJ is the 15th state to implement Autism Insurance Reform - where does this take us going forward? And how will this be impacted by further healthcare reform that is proposed on a national level by our President Barack Obama? I recognize that there is a huge need for change to our healthcare industry and the rising costs that are crippling families like mine in New Jersey and across the nation. At the root of my concern is a fundamental sense of distrust for the government to "do the right thing" for the future of our children. Especially when this same government is at the root of many of our healthcare problems and poisoning our youth through such actions as state mandates forcing vaccination.

For topic day, join me on my couch and hear me out for a minute while I tell you how I really feel about Healthcare and how reform affects my family.

New Jersey Moms Blog post by MaryTara. MT blogs her adventures in parenting two beautiful children on the Jersey Shore, life with autism & without it, the gluten & casein free diet, and vaccination choice issues at The Bon Bon Gazette and raising a child with amblyopia at Adventures in Amblyopia.

August Accomplishments

A friend of mine put as his facebook status "Kids with Autism can do anything".

As I think about all the things my son has done I am reminded how true this statement is!

Yesterday was a good day and one that I thought I'd apply this statement too. A great day for Alex, all around.

First, Alex went with his father to challenger bowling where he has finally learned to run and release the ball in a single motion instead of running, stopping, and releasing. His score also reflects this accomplishment.

Alex bowling a spare:

After that we were off to a family party where the kids went swimming in a "very deep" pool. Alex was brave enough to go down the slide with a little coaxing. After he did it once, he went again and liked it!

Hard to believe that this is the same child that for some reason at the beginning of the summer was refusing to go into pools. Oceans, a different story - but pools he always takes a very long time getting in. Once he is in, he loves it but he is VERY slow to go in.

Alex on the Slide video (yes, he did swallow a little water - but he survived!)

So, these are small accomplishments but no accomplishment is too small, right?

On the "To do list":

• Lose the training wheels off his bike
• Lose the swimmies and swim independently

We are so very very close on both of these!

Kids with autism can do anything. Alex will do it!

Governor Corzine signs NJ Autism Insurance Reform Bill

Today, I witnessed some history in the making.

August 13th 2009 - Governor Jon Corzine signed S. 1651/A. 2238 the NJ Autism Insurance Reform Bill.

The bill states that services for children on the autism spectrum like ABA, Speech, OT and PT will be covered by medical insurance up to $36,000 per child per year up to age 21 year of age. This is huge for the future of children on the Autism spectrum in the state of New Jersey. It is long overdue.

My husband and I, as well as friends from POAC and the NJ PTA were there to see the Governor sign the bill at Children's Specialized Hospital in New Brunswick.

Here's my husband and I with the Governor

And of course, you actually want to see photos from the signing so here ya go.....

Both Governor Corzine and Speaker Joseph Roberts talked about why this bill is important.

And then... S. 1651/A. 2238 was signed

Video from the signing - with apologies because the audio is not great, I was in the 3rd row - so pretty close, but apparently not close enough for the FLIP so crank it up!

The Governor's speech before he signed:


And Speaker Joseph Roberts:

Erewhon Gluten Free Cereal Giveaway

We recently had the chance to try out all the different varieties of Erewhon gluten free cereals and are hooked. It seems in our house, we can't pick a favorite. My son is a big fan of the organic gluten free corn flakes (which also double as a great gluten free coating for chicken!), while I love the Strawberry Crisp (tastier than Special K). It was no surprise that my daughter with her little sweet tooth has chosen the Cocoa Crispy Brown Rice. While we can't decide which cereal is best, we are all in agreement that this cereal is Good Stuff. Healthful, Tasty, Gluten Free & Dairy Free too. My kids and I prefer it paired with their favorite So Delicious Coconut Milk.

I'm excited to share that I am able to give a few of my lucky readers the chance to try Erewhon Gluten Free Cereals and pick their favorite. (It is so hard to choose!) Even if you aren't a breakfast cereal eater - you can enjoy the Erewhon cereals in recipes and baking.













5 lucky readers will win:

• 3 boxes of gluten-free cereal of your choice:

- Gluten Free Crispy Brown Rice
- Crispy Brown Rice with Mixed Berries
- Cocoa Crispy Brown Rice
- Rice Twice
- Strawberry Crisp Flakes
- Corn Flakes
- Aztec Crunchy Corn & Amaranth

• PLUS a Patagonia T-Shirt (available in Adult L, XL & Kids L)
• and an Erewhon Coupon Keeper with coupons for $1 off next purchases

To Enter for your chance to win (by random draw)
Leave a comment on this blog post with the 3 gluten free varieties you would pick and what gluten free cereal you usually buy now. You must have an email address on your blog comment or blogger/google account so that I have a way to contact you when the giveaway ends.

Enter until August 19th, 2009 at midnight EST. Giveaway is open to the US Only. One entry per commenter.

Erewhon cereals are available wherever natural foods are sold including the natural food section of many supermarkets and on Amazon.com. For more information visit www.ErewhonGlutenFree.com

THIS GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED!

Congrats to the 5 winners who have been notified by email to claim their prize.

More Fun at The Small Factory

Alex has continued to have a blast producing his own movies at Small Factory Productions in Fair Haven, NJ.

His latest movie still features his favorite character, Wall-E. This time Wall-E and Scrat from Ice Age have a little tiff over an acorn. Traditionally he goes to computer class with Daddy. But, this time I got to take him because Daddy was working late in preparation for my San Francisco trip. I loved watching him create this movie and seeing him in action.

Sometimes I can't believe that my "little boy", just 8 years old and on the Autism spectrum is learning Flash Animation. But, this is Alex. He is so very smart and is definitely shaping up to be way more computer savvy than I ever imagined.

His Wall-E and Scrat movie... Enjoy!

Surfs Up for Kids with Autism in Seaside Park 8/7/09

Alex had another successful day of surfing on Friday August 7th, 2009. The event was sponsored by POAC, Parents of Autistic Children, "Sea of Change" Autism Surf Outreach, and No Flat Earth.

Nothing can compare to the joyous laugh and big smile on his face as he rode in board after board. This time around, Alex surfed on his belly and he was paddling like mad to get that board in all the way to the shore.

Surfer Alex!

















And a short clip of him surfing, complete with his little sister having a fit because she wanted to swim and didn't understand she was about to get taken out by incoming surfers!



Our Heroic Surfer who patiently surfed with Alex was Lance. Lance looked extremely familiar to us, and it turned out he has surfed with Alex before at the Brick Beach surf, and I am pretty sure he's also been at Surfers Healing. Thank you to Lance and the rest of the surfers who made their magic with children like Alex by sharing the joy of the surf. The day couldn't have happened without these generous surfers who gave of their time and shared their spirit with the children and families.

Hang Ten, Lance!























The kids had a blast playing the waves and the "wading pool" that was created from the surf. The ocean water actually felt like bathwater on this warm August day in Seaside Park. One of my fondest memories of the day is watching both of my children hold hands while they splashed in the water.

Brother and Sister and best of friends.














Once the kids were done in the water, they decided it would be great fun to bury themselves in the sand.

Where's Alex?














Next up for our little Surfer dude Alex is Surfer's Healing in Belmar NJ on September 13th.

Surfs up!

Related Posts:
POAC Autism Surfing at Brick Beach 7/7/09
POAC Autism Surf Outreach in Seaside Park, NJ The magic of the sea Just Add Water - Aspergers can't stop Surfer Clay Marzo Surfers Healing calls it quits early to keep kids safe in Belmar NJ Autism Surfing Blog Entry - Surfer's Healing Autism Surfing Blog Entry - POAC Surf Camp at Brick Beach POAC Surfing Event -Seaside Park August 2008 Surfer's Healing Autistic Children & Their Families Surfer's Healing Surf Camp Review Surfer's Healing Surf Camp Review - A Dad's Perspective

Videos my son made about surfing:
Wall-E and Friends Go Surfing and Wall-E Goes Surfing

All posts tagged Autism & Surfing

Project Lifesaver keeps my Autistic child safe

My autistic son has been enrolled in the local Project Lifesaver program now for almost 2 years. What it is, is a wristband bracelet that has a locator device in it. In the event that he wanders or runs off, we are able to call 9-1-1 and they will send out officers with tracking equipment and locate him. Thankfully, we have never had to test this but I am aware of their rapid recovery rates and feel it is important. With several busy roads, bodies of water, and a child who will wander - his participation in this program is a necessity.

Typically during the first week of the month our Officer, from the local county Sheriff Department K-9 unit comes out to the house or school to change the battery in the wristband.
Alex likes when the officer comes to our home because he gets to give his working dogs treats - this is a huge reward for my son and my daughter, who both love animals. On Friday he came to our home to change Alex's wristband. I had noted that the tester/transmitter seemed to be intermittently working and that I wondered if our transmitter needed a new battery. He confirmed that it wasn't actually our transmitter but his bracelet that needed replacing. Since he didn't have any of the "new style" wristbands he put one of the older style wristbands on him. He noted though, that because Alex was going surfing later in the day that the wristband may not survive the beach day. Still, he felt it was better than going without the wristband and that if our transmitter tester didn't pick up Alex's signal to call them. He said he would be out as soon as he had a new bracelet for Alex, probably the next day.

Sure enough, the bracelet didn't survive the beach. The new style ones are water-tight but the older ones were less resilient. The next morning I called the sheriff's department to report that the bracelet had indeed not lasted through surfing. Shortly after, an officer (not our usual one) came to our home and put the new water-tight style bracelet onto him. Alex asked the officer "would you like to see my dogs?". The officer, thought Alex was referring to our pet dogs who of course were sniffing the officer and getting in on the action. So he responded "I did see your dogs!". We explained that Alex confuses the use of you and me and mine and yours and that he was asking to see if the officer had dogs with him. The officer said he did have dogs with him, so the kids went outside and got to bond with a very nice bloodhound working dog. He had another narcotics dog with him, that stayed locked up in the truck that the kids did not meet.

I am so thankful to the Project Lifesaver program and the commitment that the officers have to children like Alex, on the Autism spectrum, who have known elopement and wandering issues. The scary truth is that many autistic children do wander and are most often found near or in a body of water and in various stages of undress. I do not want my son to become one of these statistics and will do anything that I can to keep him safe. Through the Project Lifesaver program my son has been able to foster a bond and trust with Police Officers - whereas previously he used to cry or be afraid when he saw or heard sirens of police cars going by. The officers in this program are truly making a difference. On Friday ours even took a few minutes out of his day to help Alex work on riding his bike. He is just one of the many heroes that touches Alex's everyday life, and for whom I feel blessed.

When neighbors and the postman drove by during the wristband change (we happened to be outside because Alex was riding his bike) they of course want to know what kind of trouble is going on because the police are at our home. I am not ashamed to share with them that the officer is there to help keep my son safe and explain the program to him. Likewise, we have autistic child in area signs up in our neighborhood to alert motorists to slow down and that a child could run into the road without abandon.

I urge all parents of autistic children to explore and employ any preventative measure that is available to protect their child on the autism spectrum.


Related Links:
Show all Bon Bon Gazette Posts on Autism Safety
Autism Safety : Street Signs in your neighborhood
Project Lifesaver & Keeping your Child with Autism Safe
What a Project Lifesaver wristband looks like
Listen to my Autism Hangout Podcast here:

Plan Toys Activity Bus - a good back to school transition toy

Selecting toys for children, let alone children with autism is not easy There is a toy website called ebeanstalk, dedicated to selecting good, safe educational toys and baby gifts ;">. BUT they need help from moms like me to help pick the toys.

So, I am thrilled to share that I am participating in a test panel of sorts and my kids will get to try out new toys in exchange for our honest opinion. People who know me, and my avid readers know that I am a product and Kids and Family Guru. Maybe, you didn't know this about me until now - maybe this not news to you. I am the Kids and Family Category Lead at the Epinions.com product review site. From time to time you might see one of my reviews float through the RSS feed on my sidebar.

I recently was sent the Activity Bus from Plan Toys, who makes eco-friendly wooden toys. I love wooden toys and will choose a wooden, natural toy over a plastic toy anyday. Since it is back to school season right now, I found this bus particularly timely and would like to suggest it as an addition to your toybox should you have a young child who will be entering school and boarding the big yellow bus for the first time. When my son was entering preschool he had a plastic schoolbus toy from Fisher-Price's Little People line of toys. I used that school bus toy to help him make the transition from receiving all his home therapy services to then taking a schoolbus and entering preschool. Looking back, If I were to be making that transition with him now, this "green" wooden bus would win over one of the many plastic bus toys on the market today.

My friend's son who is on the autism spectrum is "obsessed" and in love with any type of schoolbus toy and her son will be receiving this toy from us when my kids "are done" playing with it. My 8 year old autistic son is well beyond the scope of this toy, but his 4 year old little sister loves it and may have a hard time parting with it. She desperately wants to take a schoolbus to school and gets upset when the bus comes and goes every day for her brother and not for her. It will be another year of pre-k for her before she gets her turn to take the trusty yellow bus. In the meantime she has been enjoying playing with this wooden schoolbus set.

The Acitivity Bus is suggested for kids 3 and up, due to the small pieces that it contains which could pose as a choking hazard. This is important to know should you have a child who likes to mouth items. Though the set is made of wood and is non-toxic, it does have many small pieces. The schoolbus opens up and doubles as a classroom - it includes little wooden desks, 2 people, a reversable chalkboard, and teeny tiny books. My daughter loves the Dr. Seuss Like people and they take turns who is the driver, the teacher, or the student. When not in use the pieces can all store inside of the bus and so far we have managed not to lose them.

The cost of this set is around $35, which is pricy for a preschool toy. Still, I feel if you are opting for quality wooden toys vs cheaper toxic plastic - this would be money well spent and a nice gift for the preschool age child in your life.

Plan Toys also makes dollhouses and a wooden city and a whole host of green toys. If you are looking to decrease the amount of "toxic" products around your children, look into replacing some of their plastic toys with wooden ones from Plan Toys.

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I crossed the Golden Gate bridge

I had a short lapse in posting because I went to San Francisco to visit the Epinions.com offices.

While I was there I got to see some family and friends and enjoy a child-free weekend.

I still missed my kids terribly, but they were in good hands and got in some real good daddy-time!



I loved playing tourist and taking 100 pictures of this bridge.

The Sisterhood of Mothers and Me

August 02, 2009

The Sisterhood of Mothers and Me

I find the quiet times are few and far between, and yet as I sat fighting shore traffic on the parkway today I found myself deep in thought. I was thinking about how five years ago I moved here to New Jersey, kicking and screaming - uprooted from my safety zone of upstate New York. I remember how miserable I was as my pregnant self sat behind the wheel in this very same traffic in my husband's over-packed Suburban (long gone due to high gas prices) with my then 3 year old autistic son, my teenage brother, and 2 cats. And most of all, how I felt I was leaving behind all my friends and family - just how would I survive?

I wondering how in all heck I would I fit in with the stereotypical Jersey girls if I despised Bon Jovi and Springsteen. Oh, how I did not want to move to New Jersey. Most of all that discouraging feeling of when I told people that I was moving to New Jersey - they responded with a "Why?".

I remember my husband showing me how close our home would be to the ocean and trying to explain the difference between "The Beach" and "The Shore". I thought, how ever would I catch on to the language of New Jersey which seems all to its own? He then introduced me to jug-handles and the art of turning right to go left. In those first weeks I got lost more times than I could count and one time I drove for over an hour just a few miles from our house because I couldn't figure out how to get onto the other side of the road.

And somehow, just 5 years later - this has become my home. "Jersey Girl" or "Real Housewife of New Jersey", I am not and never will be (nor do I aspire). This, NJ, is where I belong -this is where my sisterhood of mothers dwells.

Friday night I went out to dinner with a three of my close friends for a much coveted "moms night out". One friend is moving away this weekend, another in the not so distant future, and the other is Jersey born and bred - Jersey for life. And me. The differences between us all like night and day - working mom, at home mom, divorcee, and "wife". Joined by the common bond of motherhood - eleven children ranging from infancy to pre-teen and everywhere in between. It became clear to me how very in the moment I was right now in the chapter of my life so-called motherhood.

I can honestly say that I can't even imagine this chapter of my life being set anyplace different than New Jersey. Admittedly I do not love all things about the garden state, but my outlook is not grim. I love the ocean, the fact that I don't have to pump my own gas, the produce (Jersey corn!), and most of all - I love the mothers.

New Jersey Moms Blog post by MaryTara. MT blogs her adventures in parenting two beautiful children on the Jersey Shore, life with autism & without it, the gluten & casein free diet, and vaccination choice issues at The Bon Bon Gazette and raising a child with amblyopia at Adventures in Amblyopia.