Autism and the Annual Eye Doctor Visit

A year ago, last June, Alex got glasses. He then proceeded to break and lose several pair of glasses - 4 destroyed pairs if I'm counting correctly - over the past year. Possibly more but I was able to find 4 broken pairs that I plan to toss into the donation bucket at optical center when we pick up his new frames. .. I'm getting a bit ahead of myself here.

Today, we headed back to the eye doctor for his annual visit.

Alex isn't the most cooperative child at any doctor - and the eye doctor isn't much of an exception. His sister, who isn't autistic - has vision problems. She has anisometropic amblyopia and we go to the eye doctor on a 1-3 month frequency. Amblyopia has a higher incidence among the autistic population. But, in our case - we just happen to have one child with amblyopia and the other is on the autism spectrum.

I've noticed Alex squinting quite a bit lately. For some the squinting would be a tell-tale sign that glasses would be needed.. but, for him it is also a sensory reaction. He'll squint if things are too bright, too loud, too quiet, too dark... At first, I thought the increase in squinting was "his Autism showing", but my gut told me that he probably needed a stronger prescription. Both his father and I have glasses (or contacts) and our family has bad eyes.

I told Alex he was going to the eye doctor today and probably would be getting new glasses. He was game. He actually likes to go to the optical shop where we frequent for adjustments because he is so rough on his frames. However, as we pulled into the eye doctor parking lot he started to panic and enter "the no game". His sweet little sister attempted to comfort him by sharing that the eye doctor isn't scary. I was so proud of her - she is really so brave and cooperative when it comes to her vision.

Taking his sister's advice to heart about the eye doctor -- Alex did fine at the visit until it came time for the assistant to put the dilation drops in his eyes. That was an exhausting moment as he tried to fight and escape from the drops. We then had to wait for the drops to work while he played in the kids area and attempted to seize the computers from the optical shoppe (the opticians were impressed by his computer knowledge).

Finally after what seemed like an eternity but was only 20 minutes or so (necessary for the drops) he got into the doctor. Who, within minutes was able to assess that he indeed need a stronger prescription. We headed out with new prescription in hand (wearing his prescription sunglasses to deal with the light sensitivity).

So, Alex will get new glasses.

How many pair will get lost or broken this year?

My GFCF Birthday Cake

Happy Birthday to me!
I'm not tellin' my age!!!!














Since my son can't have storebought birthday cakes we have made it a tradition that I make my own birthday cake. This doesn't bother me, one bit. I love it, actually! I make the cake with the kids and we have a blast. It is as much fun making it as eating it. Ok, maybe the eating it is a bit better.

Today's cake was made with the Namaste Chocolate Cake Mix and topped with fresh strawberries and Pillsbury frosting (made with Soy).

It tasted better than Delicious!


The inspiration for this cake was actually a cake that my in-laws got for me from Whole Foods. The cake wasn't GFCF though so my son could just help blow out the candles - then he had his own fruit and So Delicious Coconut Milk ice cream treat.

I love this picture because you can see how much my children love each other!

School's out!

Wow, another school year has come and gone.
Alex has finished the 2nd grade and Belle has finished her first year of preschool.

How, they have grown.....

Alex's first and last day of 2nd grade
Alex has gone from little boy to big guy this year. Smarter and sillier than ever, I am glad that we all (including his teacher) survived the 2nd grade!! I love this boy!!!!

















Belle's first & last day of Preschool with her boyfriend Nicky G.
In the beginning, she was a bit shy and timid and by the end - oozing confidence. She won the "most enthusiastic" award for her first year of school. This has been a tough year for Belle with her amblyopia diagnosis, but she is flying high!

Saying Goodbye To Grandpa and Can you take an airplane to heaven?

June 11, 2009

Saying Goodbye To Grandpa and Can you take an airplane to heaven?

Last week my father suffered a stroke and passed away suddenly. At just 65 years old, he was mostly healthy, active, and had been happily married for 43 years. And such, my children, two out of his ten grandchildren had to receive a crash course in death and grieving.

Before I tore out of the house last Sunday evening to make the 7 hour drive to upstate New York - my kids hugged and clung onto me. I tried to choke back the tears as I explained that (at the time) Grandpa was very sick and in the hospital. I didn't have any details to know that really he was in critical condition and with a DNR it was just a matter of hours before the end came.

He passed away the next day.

In my sadness all I could think of was how would I explain it all to my children. How best could I talk to them about the passing of my father, their Grandpa. I worried about how they would handle seeing sadness.

I questioned having the kids attend but at the insistence of my family they were to be there. My mother, especially wanted the kids around. So, my husband loaded the car and trekked for 8 hours in a small car with 2 children - one of whom has autism.

I immediately reached out to several friends of kids with autism on how I should deal with the death of Grandpa to my 8 year old son. I thought he would be confused, disoriented, and I feared that he would 'ruin" the funeral by doing something inappropriate. Of my two children, I expected he would be the one to struggle the most with Grandpa's passing.

Of this assumption, I was wrong.

I wasn't prepared for my 4 year old daughter to ask such questions as: How can we say good-bye to Grandpa if he cannot talk back to us? Why is everyone carrying that big table? I tried to use simple terms and explain that Grandpa was in heaven now to which came an onslaught of further questions: Where is Heaven? If heaven is in the sky, can we take an airplane to heaven like we did to Disney World?

As the questions keep coming in and I reach to find "the right" answers, it is her innocent outlook that keeps me going during this very sad time. We will all miss Grandpa, my father.

New Jersey Moms Blog post by MaryTara. MT blogs her adventures in parenting two beautiful children on the Jersey Shore, life with autism & without it, the gluten & casein free diet, and vaccination choice issues at The Bon Bon Gazette and raising a child with amblyopia at Adventures in Amblyopia.

Wall-E Worship

Alex loves Wall-E. So it was a treat to go to the Monmouth Museum where they have a great big Wall-E set up. It is just made of cardboard, but 3 dimensional.

Alex enjoyed it but didn't flip out like we thought he would.

On Autism and a Death in the family

Last week my father died. My kids loved Grandpa - the "grey Grandpa" they called him. He wasn't particularly sick nor old and he left us way too soon... Obviously not expecting this to happen, I had no idea or really given any thought on explaining the topic of death to the kids - particularly to Alex.

I wanted to shelter the kids and keep them away from the wake, funeral and all the sadness. I feared that Alex might scream or meltdown and do something "inappropriate" during this sad time. I worried that the military funeral with the gun salute and taps would upset him. I spoke to his teacher for guidance and am taking it one day at a time. So far, the one who has asked more questions is my daughter - just 4 years old and NT... she wanted to know how you get to heaven out of "the box that looks like a table" and if we can take an airplane to heaven to say good-bye to grandpa?

With help from friends and family we made it through a very painful and sad week.

We love and miss you, Grandpa.
12/09/1943 - 6/01/2009