Thoughts on buying a christmas gift for my child with autism?

What do you buy for a Christmas gift for a child with autism?

I would be rich if I had a dollar for every time someone has asked me this. Maybe it is a relative, or a friend's child.. maybe it is even a family member not sure what to buy for their own grandchild, niece or nephew. I wish I could tell you that perfect answer. But autism is a rainbow - a spectrum. The kids with autism that I know, while many are so very similar - all do have their own "thing" that they like. My son loves Disney Pixar, one of his best friends couldn't be bothered with Pixar - he prefers Nickelodeon's Spongebob. Its important to remember that you are buying a gift for a child, first and foremost. Yes, they have autism - but don't forget there is a kid in there too!

So, you aren't sure what to buy that special child with autism for a gift? The first thing that I always tell people is that they should just ask the parents outright for a gift suggestion or if there is a particular character or activity they enjoy. I also suggest asking if there are things specifically NOT to buy.

For example, one year a friend of mine (also an autism mom) gave my son a big art set with crayons, markers, paper. She knew from me sharing with her that he loves to draw logos and cartoon characters. This was such a basic gift and not real expensive either - it was also so thoughtful and he used that art set until all the crayons were worn down or broken and the markers were bone dry. My son loved that art set and would have slept with it if I let him. For my son, gifts like the Crayola Marker Caddy and the Crayola Crayon Tower are perfect and something that I ask for year after year. Never enough crayons and markers. But, for a child who isn't interested in art - or who may continue to put inappropriate items in their mouth - this may not be a good choice. As for what not to buy - I am sure to spell out - for my son who is gluten-free - I have banned Play-Doh from my home.

My son is loved and blessed with many gifts from his family and friends. The quantity of gifts is overwhelming. Christmas is overwhelming. Looking back, there have been Christmas mornings where my son has opened one gift and been interested only in that gift and not interested in opening anything else the rest of the day. One year he could care less about what was in the package but only wanted to rip the paper. This is behavior that you might expect from a toddler or preschooler, but sadly my son was definitely beyond that "age" so while I was so silently happy that he was actually ripping open the paper for the first time ever - some family members didn't appreciate it when he was busy opening all of their gifts up with seemingly disregard. Christmas is supposed to be a happy time but it can be extremely stressful for anyone who has a child with autism in their life. Another year, God bless him, he got a lot of clothes and so anytime he saw a square box he made socially inappropriate comments about "Kohls!". Thankfully, they were mostly positive comments and everyone, including the gift giver, got a chuckle out of it. He wasn't doing it to be funny but it definitely put smiles on all of our faces.

Buying clothes for a child with autism.
We will never ever forget the "Kohls year" (see above).

Kids grow like weeds and new clothes are always appreciated. For my son, I like to remind people that first and foremost he is a little boy. Unlike his sister he does not enjoy getting dressed up and he is definitely his father's son. Give him comfy jeans and a knit shirt any day over button-ups and other 'stuffy' clothes. He just wants to be comfortable and his sensory issues makes him very aware of fabrics that might be a little too stiff, waistbands that might be a little too restricting, and most of all - tags in uncomfortable places. Growing up my mother always used to give all the men/boys in the family socks and underwear and it has become a bit of a tradition for me to do the same for my son and his father. Alex hates socks and doesn't keep them on his feet but he had a pretty good trial run with some Seamless Socks and I also hope to pick him up a few pieces from Soft Clothing.




Shoes are also tough - which is why you'll find him wearing sneakers most of the time. He also loves slip-on shoes like crocs and his new favorite, Ugg KIDS Tasman which are easy (slip-on) and also very warm. Though he is almost nine years old, he still hasn't mastered some of the "simple" milestones that kids pass like learning to tie his shoes and riding his bike without training wheels.

My son has High Functioning Autism. He is 8 years old, going on 9 this year. His birthday and Christmas happen to be a week apart.

So, what kinds of gifts is my son asking for this year.

Well, for one thing I guess I could consider a blessing... He isn't asking for any of the "hottest toys" like Zhu Zhu Pets or the Bakugan Battle Arena . He did see the commercial for the fake hamster Zhu Zhu pets and thought they looked cool but I know that this WILL be a toy that gets played with a few times and then nothing. People are lining up and shelling out a ridiculous amount of money for pretend hamsters and plastic tubes that resemble pumped up habitrail sets. A month after the holidays I expect to see these faux rodents on clearance - no, no Zhu Zhu pets here. And so it is with many gifts he will receive. You can't just pull up a gift widget and put in age/gender and come up ahead when you are buying for a child with autism who most likely is completely unaware of the latest trends and fads.


What he does like..

My kids love books. To give you a glimpse into the books he likes (which isn't surprising for those who know and love him, and probably not for my faithful blog readers either). His sister took a Disney Up Storybook out of the library today that he got real excited about. Though he actually reads at a high level for a 3rd grader, he still loves books with lots of illustrations and for him you cannot go wrong with Disney/Pixar. I found that DK publishing has put together a Pixarpedia - an enclyopedia full of pictures and facts about Pixar. For the kid who used to like to read the Honda car repair manual in the backseat of his father's car - an encyclopedia about his obsession (Pixar) should be huge hit.

My computer geek (lovingly) husband who is a network guy was pretty crushed when Alex kept asking for a Macbook repeatedly. Thankfully, he seems to have accepted that is a lost cause and there will be no Macs in this PC household! He can go and play on Macs when he goes to his computer classes at the Small Factory.

My son wants DVDs.

I already purchased and gave him the Up dvd because he was going to burst if he didn't get that on the day that it was released. He is asking for some popular new releases like G-Force, Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs, Monsters vs. Aliens as well as a favored TV program Phineas and Ferb. Last year I was able to buy many of the DVDs off of the kids wishlist on Black Friday at Toys R Us, Target and Wal-mart for $10 and under. I know that one DVD he really wants isn't even going to be released in time for Christmas - its Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs which much to Alex's dismay is not coming out until January. January 5th, 2010 to be exact - yes he has that one memorized as well.

The other thing he really wants is video games.

Alex loves to play with the Wii

He is asking for some new Wii games including the newer Wii Sports Resort that uses Wii MotionPlus. It is not a surprise that my "Pixar" kid wants to get Toy Story Mania! and UP both for the Wii platform. He also wants to get the new Wii Fit Plus even though he already has Wii Fit but this has some new games on it. Some of Alex's favorite games for the Wii include: Wii Fit , JumpStart Escape From Adventure Island, and the Wall-E game. I have found that many children with autism absolutely love playing on the Wii. Read our story with the Wii here.

Alex also really loves his Nintendo DS Lite. Last year since many people were at a loss on what to get for him for his birthday/Christmas I suggested Toys R Us gift cards. This way he could go and pick out the games/movies that he would like. He specifically requested to get a Nintendo DS Lite and picked out a blue one that he paid for all with his own gift cards. It was a good learning activity for him to go and pick it out, and interact with the cashier (they keep them behind a locked counter). I showed him how much it cost and how much he had in gift cards and we did the math. He knew that he could get 1 thing - the DS or a lot of other things and he chose the DS. I think I ended up covering about $10 of the price (tax and warranty etc) but it was well worth it. The DS has proved to be a good thing for him to play with when we are in situations where we have to wait. Waiting is so very difficult for children but especially so for kids with autism. Since he had outgrown most of the games for the Leapster, the DS is a good choice with a lot of titles to choose from. Alex really wants the Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs game and the new Cooking Mama 3: Shop & Chop.

In summary:
I hope that this longer than normal blog post has provided insight into the gift selection process for a child with autism. Just like any kid, my son has his likes and dislikes. In some ways he is more discerning and picky than your average child, but in other ways he is totally chillax and nonchalant. We don't have a 'holy grail' item this year like we did last year with the Pixar Lamp. Which, while it caused a lot of pre-holiday stress last year it was something that I don't think I'll ever forget this letter to Santa.

Related posts:
Featured Gifts For Children With Autism
Best Gifts for my Child with Autism

Consider the Nintendo Wii for Kids with Autism