The Sisterhood of Mothers and Me

August 02, 2009

The Sisterhood of Mothers and Me

I find the quiet times are few and far between, and yet as I sat fighting shore traffic on the parkway today I found myself deep in thought. I was thinking about how five years ago I moved here to New Jersey, kicking and screaming - uprooted from my safety zone of upstate New York. I remember how miserable I was as my pregnant self sat behind the wheel in this very same traffic in my husband's over-packed Suburban (long gone due to high gas prices) with my then 3 year old autistic son, my teenage brother, and 2 cats. And most of all, how I felt I was leaving behind all my friends and family - just how would I survive?

I wondering how in all heck I would I fit in with the stereotypical Jersey girls if I despised Bon Jovi and Springsteen. Oh, how I did not want to move to New Jersey. Most of all that discouraging feeling of when I told people that I was moving to New Jersey - they responded with a "Why?".

I remember my husband showing me how close our home would be to the ocean and trying to explain the difference between "The Beach" and "The Shore". I thought, how ever would I catch on to the language of New Jersey which seems all to its own? He then introduced me to jug-handles and the art of turning right to go left. In those first weeks I got lost more times than I could count and one time I drove for over an hour just a few miles from our house because I couldn't figure out how to get onto the other side of the road.

And somehow, just 5 years later - this has become my home. "Jersey Girl" or "Real Housewife of New Jersey", I am not and never will be (nor do I aspire). This, NJ, is where I belong -this is where my sisterhood of mothers dwells.

Friday night I went out to dinner with a three of my close friends for a much coveted "moms night out". One friend is moving away this weekend, another in the not so distant future, and the other is Jersey born and bred - Jersey for life. And me. The differences between us all like night and day - working mom, at home mom, divorcee, and "wife". Joined by the common bond of motherhood - eleven children ranging from infancy to pre-teen and everywhere in between. It became clear to me how very in the moment I was right now in the chapter of my life so-called motherhood.

I can honestly say that I can't even imagine this chapter of my life being set anyplace different than New Jersey. Admittedly I do not love all things about the garden state, but my outlook is not grim. I love the ocean, the fact that I don't have to pump my own gas, the produce (Jersey corn!), and most of all - I love the mothers.

New Jersey Moms Blog post by MaryTara. MT blogs her adventures in parenting two beautiful children on the Jersey Shore, life with autism & without it, the gluten & casein free diet, and vaccination choice issues at The Bon Bon Gazette and raising a child with amblyopia at Adventures in Amblyopia.