What mom wants is a nightgown

July 01, 2009

What mom wants is a nightgown

I'm hard to buy gifts for. This is no secret. The truth is that, while I love gifts - I also have a hard time receiving them. I've always been this way and it is just the way I am. But, the problem has gotten significantly worse over the years. And, after this latest birthday I believe I am headed on my way to becoming a better receiver. Credit and thanks go to my four year old.

As a mother, I try to teach my children to be generous givers and gracious receivers. Yet, I seem to be unable to do the same for myself. Always one to blame myself, (I have a martyr complex) this time I refuse to do so entirely. Well, I will take partial responsibility for this but I am here and now going to rat out my partner in crime.

I blame my Amazon.com wishlist.

It all started quite innocently when we started keeping wishlists of gift ideas for the kids. My son received so many duplicate gifts from his adoring grandparents in his first few years of life that the wishlist was birthed out of a necessity. Looking back, I should have stopped while I was ahead and stuck with only doing a wishlist for the kids. Life was much simpler before I had a wishlist of my own. Can I take it all back?

But, when my mother in law asked my husband and I to make lists for ourselves - of course we did. My husband has done a good job of keeping his list at hand. He fills it with expensive gadgets and geekery that makes giving him a gift much easier (especially for those of us who are less technical than he is). Me, on the other hand - I have no idea what to put on the list. I am afraid to put on items that might make me look selfish or "wierd". So, I start using my wishlist as a shopping list of practical things that I need - a new vacuum, some exercise DVDs, books and therapy aids for my autistic child). Yes, these are things I want but they aren't exactly "gift worthy".

I ask for these things - so I have no right to get mad when an in-law purchases me a dustbuster or a cardio DVD. Still, I get mad. I tell myself that she isn't calling me fat or my house dirty by gifting these to me - or is she? On one hand, the items were on my wishlist which means I wanted people to buy me them. But then I think she could have chosen not to give them to me - some things you just don't give to other people. I told my husband that I felt her giving me these things would be like me choosing to give her a jar of wrinkle cream. But, she didn't ask for wrinkle cream - that's the difference.

My husband, oh wise one - knows better than to gift said offensive items from the wishlist. This means that I'll have to cave and buy my own dustbuster filters it would seem (unless I want to wait til Christmas and hope that dear mother in law delivers again). My husband knows better than to buy me items from my wishlist. Instead I leave him hanging and don't tell him what I want - expecting for him to be a mind reader. This year he came through with a win of treating me to day spa certificate. Now, lets hope he holds me accountable to actually schedule and redeem that sucker. I'm glad he didn't buy from my wishlist.

However, he also opted to ignore our 4 year old daughter's suggestion of gifting me a nightgown which made her quite upset (and dramatic).

Now haven't owned a nightgown since I was 4 years old. Until today. I let my 4 year old pick one out for me. And, I love it.

New Jersey Moms Blog post by MaryTara. MT blogs her adventures in parenting two beautiful children on the Jersey Shore, life with autism & without it, the gluten & casein free diet, and vaccination choice issues at The Bon Bon Gazette and raising a child with amblyopia at Adventures in Amblyopia.