On Emotions, Coping and Autism

For all the talk about expressing emotions and how tough that it is for children with Autism to understand and recognize them... Sometimes I just want to shake my head. At my son's IEP last week his teacher and I were talking about how sometimes my son gets so frustrated and doesn't seem to know how to appropriately express how he feels. Yes, that is often true. But often, it is just a matter of perspective and understanding that he can express his emotions just fine. He just does it differently. And that is OK.

Yesterday was rather traumatic for Alex with a full day of testing that ended with him getting his blood drawn. First we tried a strong arm approach where my husband and the technicians attempted to hold him down to get it done quickly. He fought and fought and screamed and screamed and in the end they only got about 1/4 of a vials worth. After calming down, some talking to and a drink of water we decided to try again. This time I took him into another room and we offered him to lay down on a hospital bed or sit in a chair on my lap. We pretended to take his Wall-E plush's blood (out of his arm and his butt - hey he has a silly sense of humor) and then I had him hold Wall-E and instead of yelling or kicking to just say (loudly) Wall-E or Eeev-a in a Wall-E voice. I told him to look right into Wall-E's eyes (to avoid looking at the phlebotomist or seeing the needle and blood). It worked - and with much less restraint we were able to get it done. Afterwards he asked to go to his favorite diner, and we obliged.

Today, when it came time for him to take off his bandage and gauze (and his sister's also) he suggested on his own - "Say Eeev-a, Rip!" I was impressed that he remembered how we got through the pain and uncomfortable moment and was able to apply the skill appropriately. I think we've found ourselves a good coping method with the help of our friend Wall-E.

A little bit later he was playing on the Wii doing one of his favorite things, mii making - and he made yet another mii of himself except this time he put a sad face on. Alex is always insistent that his Mii's have smiles and he despises how the "guest" mii's that are built in have "angry faces" instead of smiles. When he was making the sad Alex he was talking aloud and telling me "Alex is making a sad Alex. Alex is sad because of the blood taking. Alex is going to get out of here".

Then, he told me that he wanted to write me a letter. I thought it was a laptop stealing technique - since he is famous for coming up with excuses to get onto my laptop or get me to hop up for a drink or something so he can quickly take it over. Well, he got on my laptop and opened up MS Word and wrote me a letter:

here it is, unedited.

Dear Mommy, Take Your Blood-taking Nurses. And Alex is Very Very Sad. He Dropped the Eyeglasses on the floor. Nurse is Pincing. Alex says Ouch! Alex is Done. Alex in a Chair instead of a bed. Alex Wants to Talk Wall-E. Say Wall-E Rip and Say Wall-E. Don’t Kick Say Wall-E!!!!!!!!!!!!. Alex is Done is Time to go to the Diner and play Nintendo DS of Diner Dash when Alex is Happy. Eat French Fries and Hot Dog. Love Alex

I do believe that his letter says it all.