Raising a Social Butterfly

February 09, 2009

Raising a Social Butterfly

I didn't realize that the popularity contests started so young, as early as preschool - maybe even earlier. My first child has Autism and social situations are challenging for him, to put it mildly. Friends are few and far between and he rarely gets invited to birthday parties or play-dates. But, who has time for that anyways? Instead of birthday parties and play-dates it was always therapy, school, and doctors appointments for him. My daughter, on the other hand, at the tender age of four is quite popular. The mailbox overfloweth with birthday party invites and I'm constantly trying to sandwich in play-dates around her daily Pre-K and weekly dance class schedule. I love the fact that she has lots of friends and a social life (bordering on better than my own, scratch that.. it is better than my own). But, lately, her popularity has put me in a predicament.

I have birthday party woes.

My little social butterfly just turned 4 years old and I'm in the midst of planning her birthday party. Since I never had big birthday parties growing up, I've always thrown them for my kids. Past parties have included things like bear-making, karate, bowling, or the kids play-gym. My daughter wanted a dance party this year. I explained that perhaps her friends who are boys wouldn't be too down with that idea and maybe we could just invite her friends that are girls. I expected her to melt down but instead she expressed concern to me that one of her friends wouldn't be able to participate - a sweet little girl in her pre-k who requires the use of a walker. Because this is one of her best friends at school, I agreed - we'd find another place to have her party.

If I thought picking an acceptable venue (that I could also afford) was tough enough - I had no idea how tough it would be when we got to making the guest list. The school has a rule that invitations for parties should be for all the kids in the class or no one at all. I actually considered being "one of those" moms that passes out invites on the sidewalk at drop-off time to just a few of the kids parents. Not to mention all the kids she plays with outside of school, like from dance class - all these kids who have invited her to parties in the past. And as the invitation list grows (and my wallet gets thinner) - I think, whatever happened to the small party at home?

So I sit here getting ready to write up invitations, I've decided that this social butterfly stuff, really is not all that it is made out to be.

Original New Jersey Moms Blog post by MaryTara. MT blogs her adventures in parenting two beautiful children on the Jersey Shore, life with autism & without it, the gluten & casein free diet, and vaccination choice issues at The Bon Bon Gazette.