Autism Goes to the Movies

When my son was a toddler I used to take his carseat into the movie theatre so he could sit in a familiar seat, strapped in, during movies. A friend of mine taught me this trick because her son who had ADHD had difficulty in the movies. At the time, my son wasn't yet diagnosed with Autism but we knew "something was up" and he was in the various stages for evaluation. After receiving the diagnosis there was a period of time we just avoided going to movies in general. His behavior in movies was extremely disruptive and an unpredictable and with the cost of movies in theatres being as they are (pricey) we aired on the side of caution. Movies on DVD worked out better since they could be paused, stopped, played over and over, and fast-forwarded on demand - all while he was wearing only underpants.

As Alex got a little older we ventured back into the theatres. The lure of the big screen and popcorn as well as the ending credits was something that he clearly enjoyed. Movies no longer became a big ordeal for us and instead became a fun family outing - though not without some shaky (and funny) moments. I think I'll always remember him standing up on his chair in Madagascar, he was 4 at the time and announcing loudly "His name is Alex (referring to the lion in the movie), MY name is Alex!" My first reaction of course was to get him down off of the seat but what I really wanted to do was jump up and down and cheer for his revelation of sorts. Go Alex!

Fast forward, many many kiddie flicks later. We enter today's movie adventure. Somehow we missed Madagascar II in the movies, and he picked to see BOLT instead before the holidays hit. So, now today - post holiday I asked Alex if he'd like to go to the movies. He asked for Madagascar II but I explained to him that it was no longer in theatres. He took it better than I expected (phew). Instead, I thought he might want to go see The Tale of Desperaux but to my surprise he selected Bedtime Stories. He'd watched the trailers, and seen the gumballs falling from the sky - he wanted Bedtime Stories. Bedtime Stories it was. He even surprised me further by going online and looking up the movie times for the closest theatre. It shouldn't really surprise me that he did this 1) he has the movie theatre entered in my GPS and 2) he can use google - but when he does stuff like this, I'm impressed.

So, earlier in the day I had received an email from the ASA (Autism Society of America) about their Sensory Films program. Apparently they have teamed up with AMC theatres and are sponsoring a showing where the lights won't be as dim, the sound won't be as loud, and kids not in their seats, no "silence is golden" policy, no previews etc. The Sensory Films day this month is Bedtime Stories and taking place on January 3rd at participating theatres. Its a cool concept, and one that we definitely could have used when Alex was a little bit younger, during that time when we avoided movies entirely. But, for now, most of what Alex seems to enjoy the most is what they cut out (he likes the dark, loud volume, and adores the previews & trailers). We want to teach him that he needs to sit quietly (relatively) and not that it is ok to jump around out of his seat. So, for us - I think the Sensory Films isn't what we need. I'm happy to say, we are "past" this stage - that is exciting.

And yet, we did hit a bit of a snag today.. just a tiny snag, if you will. At the end of Bedtime Stories the entire audience (except for my family) applauded. I don't remember the last movie I went to that the audience clapped at the end of. Usually as soon as the movie ends and the credits start rolling people start barrelling out and we stay there as Alex absolutely under no certain terms has to watch every movie credit before leaving. Today, everyone clapped. And, while Alex has done much better lately (with kudos to wii therapy) about clapping, its not guaranteed. They clapped, he screamed. He turned around and wacked at his seat. The movie patron behind us flipped out, and she called my son names. It wasn't a child behind my son - it was an adult..a grown woman, much older than I am - probably old enough to be my parent. Mean old lady!

Now, in the only defense of this rude granny (I am really being far too kind calling her that) she did have a young child with her around my son's age. Maybe she thought my son was going to harm the child, and the child did seem startled by Alex's short outburst. I asked the little girl if she was OK and she nodded yes. I told Alex he couldn't yell and he stopped. He yelled for probably 3 seconds tops and probably the only ones who heard it were those seated immediately around us. The movie was over and people were clapping, he wasn't "adding to the soundtrack" or defeating any "silence is golden" type of rule. Sure, he shouldn't have screamed but maybe people just shouldn't have clapped either. Whatever. Done and over. We've learned when he 'loses it' from a clapping episode it is quick and easily redirected. As I said, 3 seconds.

Unfortunately the rude granny made it way more than what it was. She decided to call my son names - not nice ones. She's really lucky that there were kids around and that I have a cold because had I had a moment to digest what she said and respond accordingly it could have gotten very very ugly.

Instead, I found myself apologizing for my son's behavior because he has autism. I'm mad at myself, looking back on this. Sorry???? shaking my head. Yes, I am sorry that the little girl was scared (possibly). But - and that is a BIG but - the names and words this old lady used to describe my son (rotten, being one of them)... were way way out of line and completely uncalled for.

So, to the mean bitty sitting behind me

.... meet Autism.

It sometimes sucks and sometimes bites but it sure as heck is not Rotten

Autism is not the Tragedy.
Ignorance is the Tragedy.