My Mother Wants to Join Facebook. Oh no!

December 28, 2008

My Mother Wants to Join Facebook. Oh no!

There is nothing worse to me than the disapproving look of my mother. I remember being on the receiving end of it as a child, and still - at 36 - its positively grueling. A few weeks ago I attended a family wedding which was absolutely a treat to see my family (who all live in different states) around the holidays. So, "the grown-ups" all sat around chit-chatting and comparing notes and "the kids" desperately tried to find a way to excitement dial up a notch.

Now, ordinarily I'd consider myself, at 36 years old to be "one of the grown-ups". But, in this case both my husband and I were amongst "the kids". The only true kids in the family happen to be grandchildren - my family is getting older. Still, in the eyes of my parents and my aunts and uncles - I'm still a child. And at 36 years old - I don't want to be treated like a child. I have children of my own! I'm an adult after all- so why did I feel like a minor trying to pull one over on my parents? As I sipped on the one (of two) cocktails that I had (hardly excessive) and my parents sat across from me - it just felt wrong. It rather infuriates me, but was obvious as I watched the cousins "sneak" outside to get a cigarette or to consume their alcoholic drink in the bar area instead of bringing it back to the table (they weren't fooling anyone really).

As the night wore painfully on, one cousin asked another if they had a facebook account. Two of the grown-ups came forward as having them and starting talking about how they were very upset because initially only 2 out of their 3 children had accepted their request to add them as friends.

And then, my mother asked me - the question.

Do you have a facebook account?

For a second, I thought about lying to her. Even though I knew she would know I was lying. Maybe it was the 2 drinks in me - but lying actually seemed like a good option at the moment. All eyes looked on me as my husband sat next to me - knowing the honest answer. Between him and everyone else who knew I was on there - I couldn't get away with lying.

Yes Mom, I do.

And the rest of the evening I spent wondering if my mother was going to go home and sign on to Facebook to create an account. I played through the scenario in my head, on receiving the friend request from her - and if I would deny it, ignore it, or click on accept. I talked to my little brother about it and he was equally horrified at the notion. What could be so bad? In reality, it is not that big of a deal at all and maybe we could use it to share pictures. Still. I say no. I can see her disapproving look as she sees a timestamp on a message after midnight, or the pictures from a rare "girls night out" where I just happen to have had one too many.

The bottomline is this: I just don't want her to have one. She's my mother!

My husband assures me that the chances of my mother actually sitting down and figuring out facebook account creation and finding friends on there is slim to none. Yes, he is probably right, he usually is. I really really really.. hope that he is.

Original New Jersey Moms Blog post by MaryTara. MT blogs her adventures in parenting two beautiful children on the Jersey Shore, life with autism & without it, the gluten & casein free diet, and vaccination choice issues at The Bon Bon Gazette.