Well... Alex has been mad at me all evening because I didn't let him win!
We have an understanding. When he's a good boy at Karate, I stop on the way home and pick him up Wendy's french fries. AND I let him play with my GPS! Sometimes he puts in addresses in California or North Carolina, and he gets mad because I'm not following the directions. He does like it when the GPS yells at me to "make a legal U-turn though". Chances are... I'll make an illegal one but it doesn't know that!
Today Mr. Orange Belt with 3 stripes refused to go into Karate. Of all days, its the day when Grand Master is visiting. Grand Master got the "grand idea" that I should bring a chair in and sit in the chair to see if he'd go in. NO WAY IN HELL! That ticked him off further. One of the pre-black belts who is helps out with the "ninja" class (little kiddies) bribed him in with a lollipop. He worked for 5 minutes.. did a couple 8 point stars to get the RED lollipop (had to be red) and then ran back out.
Grand Master said that if he's defiant again like that he'll just have one of the instructors come out and teach him in the waiting room.
Ain't takin' no cr@p from a 6 year old :) He means business!
Since he didn't do more than 5 minutes of class... I went straight home. No Wendy's and no detours on the GPS to another state.
I'm so mean!!!!
Alex told me he was "sad with me" :(
I felt bad about it, but I know I need to stand my ground.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Taking the Shame out of the Short Bus
My six year old son is on the Autism spectrum. He attends a special kindergarten program geared to fit his needs. His kindergarten classroom is located in the same building as all the other kindergarten rooms for the district and his is one of a handful of Autistic or Special Needs kindergartens provided by the school district. Still, because of the hours of his program he is provided with "special transportation". So, every day, the so-called "short bus" takes him to and from school.
Let me begin by sharing that riding on the bus is a huge accomplishment for many children on the Autism spectrum, my son included. The bus has been more than a battle for us. My little guy has at times been known to fight the good fight and out and out go on strike about riding on the bus. Because of sensory issues the bus can be more than overwhelming, and an outright terrifying experience. The bus is loud, kids sing on the bus, the bus is bumpy, and the carseats on the bus are not the same as in "Mommy's car". For almost an entire year of preschool we struggled each and every day to get my son onto the bus without a major meltdown. Some mornings it might take 2 or more adults, blood curdling screams and tears that are certainly not of the crocodile variety - and still some days we met with a failure. This year, we've gotten lucky all but a handful of days and he's ridden the bus willingly.
Still, I remember one morning that my son wouldn't get on the bus. It was really cold out, late November and he layed down in the middle of my front yard screaming and crying out along the lines of "NO BUS!".. "NO BUS, Please!". I was frustrated, tired, and most of all hurting for him. And, then I looked up and saw neighbors looking out their window watching the scene. And then, my feelings changed towards shame. Shame for my child's behavior. I felt the need to apologize for my son. But, he hadn't done anything wrong. He was engaging in a behavior, which is something that kids like him do. The only shameful behaviour taking place that morning was that of the people looking out their windows as if there was some sort of special event taking place.
This year I've watched as the "normal" kids get on and off their bus to and from their 1/2 day kindergarten program. One day one of the mothers asked me, "Isn't your son in Kindergarten?". I responded, "Yes". And she in turn responded by asking me "What is wrong with my son that he rides on the handicapped bus". I was taken aback both by her phrasing of it, and the fact that she asked me this right in front of her child and other children who were awaiting their bus pick-up. I felt hurt for my child who is being described as "something wrong with him". My son rides a bus to and from school, just like their children do. His bus has less seats in it and a higher ratio of adults to kids. I've also heard that the bus drivers who drive the so-called "short bus" are higher paid, for what that is worth.
Our house happens to be on the corner, so we have the bus stop kiddy corner from our front yard. Another "difference" is that my son gets picked up and dropped off at the end of our driveway since the school provides him with "door to door" service. Having Door-To-Door service is for safety reasons, because my son is a runner. If he were to be dropped off at the "regular" bus stop, then we would need to cross a busy street where cars sometimes don't stop (even with a stopped school bus, sadly) and very close to a major road. His "special" bus stop is for safety reasons. Where is the shame in that? There is none.
Ironically, all of the buses for K-12 stop right at the intersection where my local police have put up a sign indicating "Autistic Child in Area". The sign was put up because of my child and a few others in the neighborhood to signal cars to slow down. The sign is right there in front of their eyes.. And still, they look... and they point, and they whisper. He's the child who rides the short bus and gets dropped off at the end of his driveway instead of the corner. See those signs, they are about him. How many times, I've driven past the signs and averted my eyes.
It would be very easy for me to want to shelter my son and avoid the bus situation all around. I could drive him every day therefore avoiding the "short bus" stigma all around. And, my son wouldn't have to conquer any bus fears or issues. That might sound like a winning situation all around, right? The part of me who yearns to shelter my son, and avoid confrontation on any and all accounts would consider this an acceptable option. Because, it's the easy way out.
I decided that it isn't what I want for my child. I want my son to be able to ride the bus to and from school, regardless of the size of the bus. Simply getting on the bus each and every day is a huge accomplishment for him and I need to be proud of him and be thankful for each day that he gets on without a fight. And if he fights and doesn't get on, that happens and is OK too. Whether his bus is long or short - who cares? Its not the size of the bus, but whether he gets on or off without a fight that matters to me!
When people make comments that I perceive as hurtful, instead of crumpling away hurt I need to take that opportunity to educate them. Its about growing thicker skin, and making a point of sharing with them openly about my child's differences. What I've come to understand is that its all a matter of perception. I like to present the school bus issues (including the short bus/big bus, different bus stops, and the sign on the corner) all in the interest of safety. I want my son to get to and from school safely just like they want their child to get to and from school safely. Where is there shame in safety? Answer me that...
This is a re-post of an article that I posted here
Let me begin by sharing that riding on the bus is a huge accomplishment for many children on the Autism spectrum, my son included. The bus has been more than a battle for us. My little guy has at times been known to fight the good fight and out and out go on strike about riding on the bus. Because of sensory issues the bus can be more than overwhelming, and an outright terrifying experience. The bus is loud, kids sing on the bus, the bus is bumpy, and the carseats on the bus are not the same as in "Mommy's car". For almost an entire year of preschool we struggled each and every day to get my son onto the bus without a major meltdown. Some mornings it might take 2 or more adults, blood curdling screams and tears that are certainly not of the crocodile variety - and still some days we met with a failure. This year, we've gotten lucky all but a handful of days and he's ridden the bus willingly.
Still, I remember one morning that my son wouldn't get on the bus. It was really cold out, late November and he layed down in the middle of my front yard screaming and crying out along the lines of "NO BUS!".. "NO BUS, Please!". I was frustrated, tired, and most of all hurting for him. And, then I looked up and saw neighbors looking out their window watching the scene. And then, my feelings changed towards shame. Shame for my child's behavior. I felt the need to apologize for my son. But, he hadn't done anything wrong. He was engaging in a behavior, which is something that kids like him do. The only shameful behaviour taking place that morning was that of the people looking out their windows as if there was some sort of special event taking place.
This year I've watched as the "normal" kids get on and off their bus to and from their 1/2 day kindergarten program. One day one of the mothers asked me, "Isn't your son in Kindergarten?". I responded, "Yes". And she in turn responded by asking me "What is wrong with my son that he rides on the handicapped bus". I was taken aback both by her phrasing of it, and the fact that she asked me this right in front of her child and other children who were awaiting their bus pick-up. I felt hurt for my child who is being described as "something wrong with him". My son rides a bus to and from school, just like their children do. His bus has less seats in it and a higher ratio of adults to kids. I've also heard that the bus drivers who drive the so-called "short bus" are higher paid, for what that is worth.
Our house happens to be on the corner, so we have the bus stop kiddy corner from our front yard. Another "difference" is that my son gets picked up and dropped off at the end of our driveway since the school provides him with "door to door" service. Having Door-To-Door service is for safety reasons, because my son is a runner. If he were to be dropped off at the "regular" bus stop, then we would need to cross a busy street where cars sometimes don't stop (even with a stopped school bus, sadly) and very close to a major road. His "special" bus stop is for safety reasons. Where is the shame in that? There is none.
Ironically, all of the buses for K-12 stop right at the intersection where my local police have put up a sign indicating "Autistic Child in Area". The sign was put up because of my child and a few others in the neighborhood to signal cars to slow down. The sign is right there in front of their eyes.. And still, they look... and they point, and they whisper. He's the child who rides the short bus and gets dropped off at the end of his driveway instead of the corner. See those signs, they are about him. How many times, I've driven past the signs and averted my eyes.
It would be very easy for me to want to shelter my son and avoid the bus situation all around. I could drive him every day therefore avoiding the "short bus" stigma all around. And, my son wouldn't have to conquer any bus fears or issues. That might sound like a winning situation all around, right? The part of me who yearns to shelter my son, and avoid confrontation on any and all accounts would consider this an acceptable option. Because, it's the easy way out.
I decided that it isn't what I want for my child. I want my son to be able to ride the bus to and from school, regardless of the size of the bus. Simply getting on the bus each and every day is a huge accomplishment for him and I need to be proud of him and be thankful for each day that he gets on without a fight. And if he fights and doesn't get on, that happens and is OK too. Whether his bus is long or short - who cares? Its not the size of the bus, but whether he gets on or off without a fight that matters to me!
When people make comments that I perceive as hurtful, instead of crumpling away hurt I need to take that opportunity to educate them. Its about growing thicker skin, and making a point of sharing with them openly about my child's differences. What I've come to understand is that its all a matter of perception. I like to present the school bus issues (including the short bus/big bus, different bus stops, and the sign on the corner) all in the interest of safety. I want my son to get to and from school safely just like they want their child to get to and from school safely. Where is there shame in safety? Answer me that...
This is a re-post of an article that I posted here
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Cursing out the school nurse
Ok.. so the school nurse is on my bad list. BIG TIME.
Last week the kids had off on Monday for some sort of professional day. On Tuesday I got a phone call at 8:35 (meaning my kindergartner son had just gotten off of the bus) from the nurse saying that I needed to come pick him up right away... he had pink eye. Ok, so babygirl was sound asleep and it is freezing cold out and so since I'm not one to wake a sleeping baby I put her in her pajamas into a giant fleece snowsuit and then took her in the car. I still had to take her out of the car once I got to the school because I had to go in and pick him up, sign him out, go get him from the nurses etc. Then.... drove him to the doctors (30 minutes away) and she says "I don't think its pink eye but just in case, here's some eye drops". The nurse informed me that if it was pink eye he'd need to stay out of school at LEAST 48 hours or until it had resolved. So, he missed Tuesday.... they were supposed to go to Insectropolis bug museum, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday it was PJ Day and some kind of 3 little pigs play. And, let me tell you... his eyes were not red nor did he have any crusties or running other than maybe a little bit in the morning (which he always gets). This week, on monday he went to school - no problem. Great day. Tuesday I had to take babygirl up to her well visit since she is a big 2 year old. I'm getting to the doctor around 8:45 Am and the phone rings. Its the nurse... she says "You need to come pick him up and I need a doctors note before he returns. He has pink eye". So... my husband picks him up and drives him up to me at the doctors - I just stayed there with the little princess. They see my son and they say "Nope, not pink eye. Just looks like he is a little tired". So she writes a note that says he can safely return to school as of 2/6. So I drive him to school and HE THROWS A FIT. He won't go in, flops on the ground and wants to go home. Lovely - it took 3 people to get him into the nurses office and then I had to leave when he was in the middle of a fit. The paraprofessional said she got him to come around and then he had a great day.
Surprise surprise, this morning he WOULD NOT GET ON THE BUS. my husband had to drive him to school because the baby was still asleep and had a restless night from getting a shot yesterday.
I'm waiting to see if the nurse calls and says for me to come get him and what her reason is this time.
On a funnier note, yesterday when he did get home from school he ran up the stairs to the fridge. Layed down on the floor and then fell asleep! he took a nap on the kitchen floor for over an hour!!!
Last week the kids had off on Monday for some sort of professional day. On Tuesday I got a phone call at 8:35 (meaning my kindergartner son had just gotten off of the bus) from the nurse saying that I needed to come pick him up right away... he had pink eye. Ok, so babygirl was sound asleep and it is freezing cold out and so since I'm not one to wake a sleeping baby I put her in her pajamas into a giant fleece snowsuit and then took her in the car. I still had to take her out of the car once I got to the school because I had to go in and pick him up, sign him out, go get him from the nurses etc. Then.... drove him to the doctors (30 minutes away) and she says "I don't think its pink eye but just in case, here's some eye drops". The nurse informed me that if it was pink eye he'd need to stay out of school at LEAST 48 hours or until it had resolved. So, he missed Tuesday.... they were supposed to go to Insectropolis bug museum, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday it was PJ Day and some kind of 3 little pigs play. And, let me tell you... his eyes were not red nor did he have any crusties or running other than maybe a little bit in the morning (which he always gets). This week, on monday he went to school - no problem. Great day. Tuesday I had to take babygirl up to her well visit since she is a big 2 year old. I'm getting to the doctor around 8:45 Am and the phone rings. Its the nurse... she says "You need to come pick him up and I need a doctors note before he returns. He has pink eye". So... my husband picks him up and drives him up to me at the doctors - I just stayed there with the little princess. They see my son and they say "Nope, not pink eye. Just looks like he is a little tired". So she writes a note that says he can safely return to school as of 2/6. So I drive him to school and HE THROWS A FIT. He won't go in, flops on the ground and wants to go home. Lovely - it took 3 people to get him into the nurses office and then I had to leave when he was in the middle of a fit. The paraprofessional said she got him to come around and then he had a great day.
Surprise surprise, this morning he WOULD NOT GET ON THE BUS. my husband had to drive him to school because the baby was still asleep and had a restless night from getting a shot yesterday.
I'm waiting to see if the nurse calls and says for me to come get him and what her reason is this time.
On a funnier note, yesterday when he did get home from school he ran up the stairs to the fridge. Layed down on the floor and then fell asleep! he took a nap on the kitchen floor for over an hour!!!
Saturday, February 3, 2007
My baby girl is 2 today.
Ok - this is actually from a couple days ago! Feb 2007 picture
Feb 3, 2006 picture from her first birthday cake
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Feb 3, 2005 at the hospital!
Feb 3, 2006 picture from her first birthday cake+ofbelle_cake2.JPG)
Feb 3, 2005 at the hospital!
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